Beautiful Mourning

2012-01-22T21:47:00.002-05:00

Every time you talk about your loss or express your fears, you heal a little bit more. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Sunday's Story

2011-12-18T20:15:00.000-05:00

Make today's story your own. We all have one and if you have a friend or family member who is willing to listen, then by all means share. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Wednesday's Word

2011-12-14T20:35:00.000-05:00

CIRCLE. A circle is a curved line that is the same distance from the center all the way around and connects at the point where it began. When our loved ones leave us the circle is broken and immediately started in Heaven where it will be complete when we are all together again. It may not be easy but it is possible!

2011-11-17T17:18:00.001-05:00

Beginning to think about what to be thankful for this year without you! It may not be easy but it is possible!

Monday's Mourning Melody

2011-10-03T17:27:00.000-04:00

FRIENDS by Michael W. Smith. This song is a reminder that even if we are apart the friendships that are formed will last a lifetime. It may not be easy but it is possible!http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=MYzP0jjupVI&feature=fvwp

Wednesday's Word

2011-09-28T15:17:00.000-04:00

SHARING: a part or portion that belongs or is allotted to an individual. We love sharing our loved ones no matter how small or large their story is. Sharing helps us heal and never, ever forget. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Wednesday's Word

2011-08-17T16:16:00.000-04:00

APPRECIATE: recognize the full worth of. When our loved ones leave us we always question ourselves as to whether or not we really did appreciate all that they were and all that they meant to us. Take the time now for those still around. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Tuesday's Tip

2011-08-16T15:43:00.002-04:00

Let others know its OK to use your loved one's name in conversation. Most people think they are doing you a favor by avoiding the name when in reality you would love to hear his name and stories. It may noit be easy but it is possible!

Monday's Mourning Melody

2011-08-15T19:03:00.002-04:00

I WON'T LET GO by Rascal Flatts. The character is not defined so, it could be a friend saying it to a friend, it could in some sense be God saying it to someone, it could be you saying it to your husband or wife, so in that sense, the song's exciting to me, because it's got an inspirational message. It says something good that lifts people up. It may not be easy but it is possible!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fqPcnuVPR8

Sunday's Story

2011-08-14T21:47:00.000-04:00

David's Message: Love and Life are Eternal. The true and compelling story of the ELLIOTS Search for answers when their Seventeen-Year-Old, David Elliot, is suddenly killed in a tragic and freak accident. The ELLIOTS share with us their deepest emotions. It may not be easy but it ihttp://www.alibris.com/booksearch.detail?invid=10811039098&noworks=1&query=nancy+b+and+john+elliot&qsort=&page=1s possble!

Wednesday's Word

2011-08-03T17:20:00.000-04:00

HEARTACHE: Emotional anguish or grief, typically caused by the loss or absence of someone loved. No one knows heartache like an individual who has lost someone that they were especially close to or held a special place in their lives. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Tuesday's Tip

2011-08-02T19:28:00.002-04:00

Allow yourself and each member of your family the chance to be alone and private especially in those first days and weeks. We don't always need others around. Alone time gives us the chance to process what has happened to us and our norm. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Sunday's Story

2011-07-31T19:47:00.002-04:00

ON MY HONOR by Marion Dane Bauer. When his best friend drowns while they are both swimming in a treacherous river that they had promised never to go near, Joel is devastated and terrified at having to tell both sets of parents the terrible consequences of their disobedience. It may not be easy but it is possible! http://www.alibris.com/booksearch?qwork=4836688&matches=318&title=on+my+honor&cm_sp=works*listing*more

Saturday's Shooting Star

2011-07-30T22:52:00.000-04:00

ADAM R. FURSTOSS whose Angel Birthday is today July 30th. You are 29 today. Hard to imagine who you'd be today. It may not be easy but it is possible! http://www.cmt.com/videos/kenny-chesney/62075/who-youd-be-today.jhtml

Sweet baby, sweet face, so peaceful and so darn cute! Miss you tons. Love, Mom xxoo

Wednesday's Word

2011-07-27T21:35:00.002-04:00

EXPECTATION: a looking forward to; anticipation; a looking for as due, proper, or necessary; a thing looked forward to. We have such high expectations for ourselves when we are grieving. We EXPECT it will get easier in a few days and that is not always the case. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Monday's Mourning Melody

2011-07-25T18:01:00.000-04:00

Stronger by Mandisa. You may remember her from American Idol. This song is so inspirational for anyone who feels defeated about any crisis in their life. The words ring so true. Give a listen. It may not be easy but it is possible!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emgv-VRtMEU

Saturday's Shooting Stars

2011-07-09T10:01:00.003-04:00

Andrea R. Kofahl 7-12 and Adam R. Furstoss 7-15. Sharing more than the month of July as their Angel Month. They were friends, neighbors, have one sister, same middle initial and passengers in the car. May you continue to share each other's lives as you guide and comfort from above. We love and miss you both. xxoo It may not be easy but it is possible!

Wednesday's Word

2011-07-06T19:19:00.002-04:00

BEREAVED: greatly saddened at being deprived by death of a loved one. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Tuesday's Tip

2011-07-05T14:15:00.002-04:00

Memorials and tributes are an important part of grieving. If you have always wanted to celebrate a loved one but were afraid no one would care or come, I say you would be surprised at the family and friends that would show up. They are probably missing your loved one as much as you and don't know how to express it. A small gathering can be so helpful to everyone. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Monday's Mourning Melody

2011-07-04T10:23:00.000-04:00

CLOUDS by Montgomery Gentry. This song is dedicated to Eddie Montgomery's Dad and 2 yr old son who died in a car crash 5 days before his 3rd birthday. I think we all "see" our loved ones in the clouds. It may not be easy but it is possible!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NagyFsM6R1I&feature=fvwrel

Sunday's Story

2011-07-03T12:29:00.002-04:00

NOTHING BUT GHOSTS by Beth Kephart is a story for teens. From this National Book Award-nominated author comes a heartfelt, lyrical tale of a young woman who becomes embroiled in decoding a mystery. In the process, she learns about love and how to live with her own ghosts. It may not be easy but it is possible!

http://www.alibris.com/booksearch?qwork=11274257&matches=26&cm_sp=works*listing*title

Saturday's Shooting Stars

2011-07-02T09:29:00.000-04:00

Anyone on this list. May you all continue to inspire, guide, create memories and bring smiles to your loved ones. It may not be easy but it is possible!

.July's Angel Days

July 1 Grandpa Pachura

July 5 James LeVeque

July 12 Andrea Kofahl

July 13 Joseph Gaudioso

July 15 Adam R. Furstoss

July 21 Matthew Kato

July 24 Nina Hsiung

July 25 William Bianchi

July's Angel Birthdays

July 5 Jennifer Grimaldi

July 6 Nina Hsiung

July 6 Clare Nice

July 6 Benjamin James Snyder

July 30 Adam R. Furstoss

July's To Be Celebrated

July 3 Kelly Urckfitz

July 11 John Grzybek

July 13 Yvette LaBombard

July 16 Todd Furstoss

July 16 Aubre Fox

July 20 Shanda A. Mabon

July 21 Kaitlyn Pachura

July 25 Tammy Pachura

July 25 Rita Weiler

July 26 Samantha Kelsey

July 31 Dominic Torcasio

Friday's Fact

2011-07-01T22:40:00.002-04:00

You will become emotionally exhausted and forgetful in the early days of your grief. This is natural. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Wednesday's Word

2011-06-29T21:47:00.000-04:00

ETERNAL - Lasting or existing forever; without end or beginning. The love, memories and relationship we had with our loved one is eternal. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Sunday's Story

2011-06-26T13:40:00.002-04:00

Lost & Found: A Kids Book For Living Through Loss by Marc Gellman describes different kinds of losses--losing possessions, competitions, health, trust, and the permanent loss because of death--and discusses how to handle these situations. It may not be easy but it is possible!

http://www.alibris.com/booksearch?keyword=lost+and+found+a+kids+book+for+living+through+loss&mtype=B&hs.x=24&hs.y=5

Tuesday's Tip

2011-06-21T17:26:00.002-04:00

Share your story and share it often. People can be so understanding and helpful. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Saturday's Shooting Stars

2011-06-18T10:07:00.002-04:00

Edward Madejczyk whose Angel Day was June 16th. The best Uncle EVER! Keith Reed whose Angel Birthday was June 16th. May they continue to guide their families with hope, strength and love. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Wednesday's Word

2011-06-08T21:00:00.002-04:00

FUNERAL - A ceremony or group of ceremonies held in connection with the burial or cremation of a dead person. Which did you choose and why? It may not be easy but it is possible!

Tuesday's Tip

2011-06-07T21:39:00.000-04:00

When you hear music that takes you back to a special memory, just go with it. The feelings, good or bad are healing. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Saturday's Shooting Star

2011-05-28T10:45:00.000-04:00

Alicia Daniels whose Angel Day is 5/28. May she continue to inspire those with sickle cell anemia to live life to its fullest. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Friday's Fact

2011-05-27T15:19:00.002-04:00

Healing from emotional injury is similar to healing from physical injury. It will take patience, good attitude and most importantly TIME. Too many of us want to be better sooner rather than later. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Wednesday's Word

2011-05-25T16:24:00.000-04:00

EMOTION - a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. Because our emotions are so natural we cannot always control them. When reminders make you want to cry, cry. It feels so good! It may not be easy but it is possible!

Tuesday's Tip

2011-05-24T19:02:00.000-04:00

READ. When you are having trouble understanding or talking to someone, read books, pamphlets, or the internet. It may not be easy but it is possible!

http://www.alibris.com/help/free-shipping?siteID=ylar7O58VdI-4.ZLqHcMHVilTk9LHbocdQ

Monday's Mourning Melody

2011-05-23T17:16:00.002-04:00

HOW YOU LIVE by Point of Grace. The message in this song is so strong and true. We can honor our loved ones by living an honest, full life. It may not be easy but it is possible!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qQm8283qsg

Sunday's Story

2011-05-22T20:55:00.002-04:00

WHEN GOD WINKS by SQuire Rushnell. In this book of inspiration and encouragement, bestselling author Rushnell takes readers by the hand to establish why each of these actual accounts is relevant. It may not be easy but it is possible!

http://www.alibris.com/booksearch?qwork=9512114&matches=60&title=when+god+winks&cm_sp=works*listing*more

Saturday's Shooting Stars

2011-05-21T08:12:00.000-04:00

All those young people here in Rochester and around the country who have lost their lives in careless ways. Car crashes, shootings, stabbings, etc. May their families find peace in the days ahead. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Thursday's Treasure

2011-05-19T15:55:00.000-04:00

FLOWERS BRING HOPE BASKET. It is difficult to feel hopeful about life after experiencing loss. However, planting seeds and watching them grow allows the bereaved to experience life in a new form. Whether the bereaved is a gardener or not, he or she can find hope and healing through Mother Nature's circle of life. It may not be easy but it is possible!

http://www.beautifulmourning.com/garden.html

Wednesday's Word

2011-05-18T15:24:00.001-04:00

CARE: feel concern or interest; attach importance to something. We all have something or someone we care about. What or who do you care about? It may not be easy but it is possible!

Tuesday's Tip

2011-05-17T20:10:00.001-04:00

"Sometimes the most healing activity is to laugh at death" - Martin J. Keogh

Monday Mourning Melody

2011-05-16T18:59:00.002-04:00

ADDRESS IN THE STARS - by Caitlin & Will. Don't we all wish there was an address in the stars where we could send letters and photos to our loved ones. This is a beautiful song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I35_B_5htnI&feature=related

Sunday's Story

2011-05-15T16:16:00.000-04:00

THE CRADLE IS EMPTY by Teri Geraci. Regardless of the kind of loss you sustained, your pain can be overwhelming and debilitating. The people in your life who love you are probably very supportive, but unless you have someone who has walked the same road with you, you may feel very isolated. I had to let God be God in my life and allow Him to put the pieces back together.

http://www.alibris.com/booksearch?qwork=14275466&matches=5&keyword=the+cradle+is+empty&cm_sp=works*listing*more

Saturday's Shooting Stars

2011-05-14T17:48:00.000-04:00

Herbie Pechuman whose Angel Day is May 21st and Robert H. Brown whose Angel Birthday is May 21st. May they continue to guide their families with the memories of their life. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Wednesday's Word

2011-05-11T18:36:00.002-04:00

SUPPORT: to bear or hold up; serve as a foundation for. We can all use some support every now and then and we need it almost constantly while we are navigating through our journey in grief. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Monday's Mourning Melody

2011-05-09T21:11:00.000-04:00

HE WAS WALKING HER HOME by Mark Schultz is a love story song. It reminds me of the movie THE NOTEBOOK and what true love looks like. It may not be easy but it is possible!

He was walking her home By Mark Schultz (With Lyrics)

Saturday's Shooting Stars

2011-05-07T07:54:00.002-04:00

HENRY KELSEY: Angel Day May 9th. ERIN DWYER AND ELSIE KELSEY: Angel Birthdays May 11. May they continue to watch over their loved ones. If you would like to add a loved one to our lists send me their name, dates and list you wish them to be on. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Tuesday's Tip

2011-05-03T20:54:00.000-04:00

Great article about missing your MOM on Mother's Day. It may not be easy but it is possible!
http://tributes.com/grief_recovery_center/article/214

Wednesday's Word

2011-04-27T18:41:00.002-04:00

SACRIFICE: giving up of something valued. We all know we sacrifice everyday that our loved ones are gone. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Tuesday's Tip

2011-04-26T17:47:00.002-04:00

When bringing foods to the bereaved, make comfort foods as they are reminders of childhood. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Monday's Mourning Melody

2011-04-25T12:59:00.000-04:00

IF HEAVEN WASN'T SO FAR AWAY by Justin Moore. I think we all feel this one at one time or another when we are missing that someone special. It may not be easy but it is possible!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_WnZNQf1ao

Saturday's Shooting Star

2011-04-23T10:06:00.000-04:00

All those who have lost their lives in the weather related tragedies during the week. May their souls rise to heaven and shine on their loved ones this Easter weekend. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Friday's Fact

2011-04-22T18:31:00.002-04:00

YOU WILL HAVE GRIEF ATTACKS AT WORK. How will you handle these? Cry, leave, hide, explain. Sometimes it is not the best time but you need to acknowledge the emotion. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Thursday's Treasure

2011-04-21T18:59:00.002-04:00

ANASTASIA MUSICAL KEEPSAKE BOX : Anastasia herself would have adored this ornately designed musical trinket box. It features a shiny and antiqued silver finish, and is adorned with sparkling Swarovski® "Aurora Borealis" rainbow stones. Open it up to hear the strains of "Unforgettable". Be sure to have it engraved to complete this gift to be treasured.

http://www.thingsremembered.com/catalog/search.cmd?form_state=searchForm&keyword=553803

Wednesday's Word

2011-04-20T10:42:00.003-04:00

APPRECIATE : To recognize the quality, significance, or magnitude of. Unfortunately we realize too late how valuable something or someone is to us until they are gone. Remember to appreciate everyone, everything and everyday. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Wednesday's Word

2011-04-13T16:31:00.002-04:00

RESPONSIBLE: having an obligation to do something, or having control over or care for someone, as part of one's job or role. As parents we feel so responsible for our childeren's death no matter if it was out of our control or not. We should always be able to care for and protect them. When we can't we feel responsible. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Tuesday's Tip

2011-04-12T20:52:00.002-04:00

Let someone have their feelings. We are usually so sad for someone that we unintentionally tell them that things will be okay or that they shouldn't cry. We try to tell them that we understand. Just let them be, just be there and let them express the fear and anxiety that they are feeling. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Monday's Mourning Melody

2011-04-11T17:31:00.000-04:00

SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL by Newsboys. This song reminds us to see the beauty in everything around us. Simple or not. It may not be easy but it is possible!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5xuRcW4bvM

Saturday's Shooting Star

2011-04-09T10:46:00.002-04:00

Sherri Dean whose Angel Day is 4/12. May she continue to shine brightly! It may not be easy but it is possible!

Friday's Fact

2011-04-08T16:47:00.002-04:00

Go outdoors and enjoy nature. It brings comfort and let's you see the world from a different perspective. Let Mother Nature nurture your soul. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Thursday's Treasure

2011-04-07T22:11:00.000-04:00

This silver-plated, intricately detailed ornament is perfect for engraving a special message. A great, personal gift for office and for aunts, nieces, favorite cousins, BFFs and everyone who holds a special place in your heart. It's on sale too! It may not be easy but it is possible!

http://www.thingsremembered.com/catalog/search.cmd?form_state=searchForm&keyword=653994

Wednesday's Word

2011-04-06T18:34:00.002-04:00

GALLOWS: humorous treatment of a grave situation. Haven't we all wanted to find the humor in situations from time to time? If you don't laugh, you cry and besides everyone knows laughter is the best medicine. It may not be easy but it is possible!

Sunday's Story

2011-04-03T14:49:00.000-04:00

LIVING WHEN A LOVED ONE HAS DIED by Earl Grollman.Earl Grollman explains what emotions to expect when mourning, what pitfalls to avoid, and how to work through feelings of loss. Suitable for pocket or bedside, this gentle book guides the lonely and suffering as they move through the many facets of grief, begin to heal,... and slowly build new lives. It may not be easy but it is possible!

http://www.alibris.com/booksearch?qwork=3995559&matches=163&author=earl+grollman&cm_sp=works%2Alisting%2Amore

Wednesday's Word

A digital scrapbook by Smilebox

Moving

2009-06-04T18:10:00.001-04:00

I will be moving soon into a new house. The anticipation of what it will be like on the day we actually leave the house where Adam grew up is overwhelming. I am okay leaving here it is just that I am afraid of myself on the last day. I suppose it will be like any other event since he left. The anxiety and anticipation is sometimes worse than the actual event. I hope this is the case. It may not be easy but it is possible!

My list of firsts

2009-01-05T19:28:00.000-05:00

As you know I like to list my firsts for the past year. It helps me see where I've been and what I've done. Some of them are routine and don't phase me one way or the other. Some of them have great impact like losing our dog and watching my sons best friend get married. They are all a part of my new normal now. It would be great if you shared one of your firsts. It may not be easy, but it is possible!

ARFRD July 15, 2008

2008-07-26T18:19:00.001-04:00

Adam's Garden in July

2008-07-26T18:09:00.000-04:00

Here are some photos of Adam's Garden taken the morning of July 15th. You can see how the flowers have bloomed since May. It was beautiful and sunny that morning.

Adam Garden

2008-05-06T11:07:00.000-04:00

Here are more images from my Adam Garden. Each piece has a special meaning. Most of the items were donated by family or friends. The memorial stone with the dates was given to us by our neighbors. The butterfly tree was given to us by a co-worker of Adam. The sitting angel boy was given to us by my husbands cousin. The fish stone was given to us by a friend of my husband who along with his son had a lot of fun fishing times together with Adam. The white rose bush above the fish stone (not in bloom yet)was given to us by my sister on the one year anniversary of Adam's leaving. It is so beautiful when it is in bloom. The garden stone was given to us by my family. We bought the glider bench so people can sit, relax and remember. It is a magnet in our yard. Someone is always sitting there and hopefully reflecting on Adam and what he meant to them in their life. The garden will be in full bloom shortly and that is where I find my peace and solitude. You do not have to wait for family or friends to give you things to make a garden. It can be as simple as a pot of Forget-Me-Nots on your deck, or a small area of an existing garden. Fill it with something special that reflects who your Loved One is or something they liked. It may not be easy, but it is possible:)

site updates

2008-02-14T12:42:00.000-05:00

This month has been a bit of a struggle. I have been down for awhile because I had shoulder surgery. Thankfully I am on the mend and intend to do some site work while I am off. The archives have been updated. Please take note the contact phone number has been changed. The paypal tax codes for those purchasing in New York state are updated as well. Remember, you can always email and ask any question concerning your grief journey or some else whom you may be concerned about. Have a pleasant day and always remember it isn't easy but it is possible!!:)

Amanda Lynn Mabon

2007-10-08T15:30:00.000-04:00

Amanda Mabon lost her life here on Earth August 30, 2007. She is a 17 year old blond beauty who had a lot of life still in her. Mandy would have been a senior this year at Oakfield -Alabama High School. I did not know Mandy personally but I do know her parents. They are good people with genuine hearts who do not deserve this. Mandy has a big sister and a little brother. She also has a huge extended family who I am sure will miss her deeply. From what I have learned about Mandy, she has an incredibly bright smile and a friendly personality that made anyone who came in contact with her want to be her friend. I wish I had known her personally. She is someone who loved children and was very active in programs involving children. At Mandy's wake I have never seen so many people of all ages wait inside and outside for up to 3 hours just to pay respects. It is an absolute tribute to the kind of girl she is. Her parents obviously did something right. My wish for Mandy's family, personal and extended, is that they find peace in their hearts and a way to celebrate the life that was taken way too soon.

6th Anniversary Celebration

2007-07-21T09:00:00.000-04:00

July 15th was the 6th anniversary of Adam's passing. We had a fantastic day. 82 peope came to support us and celebrate the life of my son. What an honor. We did a ballon launch, played music, and I spoke. Some people in attendance never even met my son. Whatever their reason was for coming didn't matter, they were here. So many people were moved by the action of the balloon launch. Just about everyone sent a message to Heaven. Some of the messages were to their loved ones. It was a beautiful day for honoring and remembering those we no longer have in our physical presence. It was not easy, but it was possible!

Garden Grief

2007-05-12T09:21:00.000-04:00

The garden is usually a burden to most people. They find it a chore. I love the garden. It lets me think and cry and be mad and happy all at the same time. I'm alone when I garden so no one has to see me go through all the different emotions that take place while digging dirt. I recall happy times when we were a complete family and the sad times since Adam left. Pulling weeds is like putting aside another tear of grief. If you give it a try you might find you like it. It isn't always easy but it is possible :) Peace to all those who are missing someone special.http://www.beautifulmourning.com

bereavment laws

2007-03-23T20:32:00.000-04:00

Don't the bereavement laws suck? I can't believe you can get a measly 3 days off to take care of yourself, relatives, funeral, paperwork, make arrangements and come back to work like nothing happened. Some workplaces are better than others when it comes to this delicate topic. Some relatives are only worthy of one bereavement paid day. Isn't that silly!!!! Sometimes Grandma or Auntie are closer to you then your own Mom. I get so frustrated whenever this topic comes up. I was not treated with the best compassion when my son died. I know so many Moms who had to quit because it was so demanding to have to think of work on top of everything else. The laws for birth are so much better than they are for death especially when it is a child. Why can't we have 6weeks paid time off? Why can't we get ready for a new life without our child? We were given 6 weeks to get ready for a new life with them. It's funny because life without them is WAY HARDER than life is with them. It may not be easy, but it is possible because we are doing it, aren't we? Peace to all who are missing that someone special:)

There is healing in hope

2007-03-02T23:17:00.000-05:00

It has been awhile since I've been here. I have been helping my husband set up an account with the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. He will be taking part in a 100 mile bike ride in Whitefish Montana on August 25th. He will be riding for our great nephew, Ian who is 2 years old. He was diagnosed this past year with Type 1. My husbands goal is $6000. If you are interested in donating, it is tax deductible, you may do so by going to http://ride.jdrf.org/rider.cfm?id=6756. Once in the site enter Rich Furstoss as the rider you will be supporting. It is very therapeutic to be involved in something so dear to us. We have a purpose and focus to help Ian become a strong, productive individual. Thank you for your help.

I really believe that healing of your broken heart can happen when you reach out to others. This is part of the living, giving and sharing I talked about on my website, www.beautifulmourning.com in Feb. Donate in memory of a loved one. It might not be easy but it is possible :)

Grief Sucks

2007-02-03T15:09:00.000-05:00

WOW, where have I been? I have been doing the post holiday thing like everyone else, I guess. I have been re-evaluating my site, my purpose, my life!!!! Does anyone feel a let down now that the Holidays are over? It's all hype, anticipation, anxiety and then ....BLAH. Don't you hate the roller coaster feeling? You think everything is on track and something hits you right between the eyes and reminds you you are without a favorite loved one. You have control over it all even if you think you don't. None of this crap is easy. It sucks and unfortunately it just is different every year. Nothing, and I mean nothing is ever the same. Maybe you see a glimpse of a feeling that things are "normal" but, NO they are not. I hope each and every one of you find the path that will lead you to your "new normal". It is there just keep trying. It isn't easy but it is possible :)

Post Holiday Mourning

2007-01-08T16:04:00.000-05:00

It seems like we anticipate the coming of the holidays, they come and it is what it is and then what? This is a time of year filled with the blahs. The weather, the lack of daylight, the lack of activity and now the house is bare. All the catalogs are filled with sales and Valentines!!! This is a good time to evaluate the Holiday past and determine if it was great, good, or just okay. What could or would you have done differently? Make a mental note or write it down and try to do something different next year. If this is your first year of mourning, don't think the rest of the Holidays will be the same. Every one and every year is different. It may not be easy to deal with the loss but it is possible!! Remember, it is YOUR grief process, no one elses. I hope you were able to find a bit of peace and joy this Holiday season:) Barb

Reflective Mourning

2006-12-16T09:28:00.000-05:00

This past week I attended a church service dedicated to those loved ones who are no longer in our physical presensce. It was a peaceful, reflective hour to remember my son and my Dad. There were families as well as individuals remembering their loved ones at a time when we miss them most. There was music, readings, personal stories, a candle lighting and communion. It was a great time to stop and enjoy the season in a different way. I highly reccomend you attend a service of this sort if one is available in your area. It was not an easy thing to do but it is possible to not let our loved ones get lost in the hustle and bustle of the season. I wish you peace in your heart as you miss your loved one this Holiday season :)

Christmas Card Grief

2006-12-05T19:59:00.000-05:00

The first year of losing someone you love is always filled with anxiety and fear. There are all the usual things to do to get ready for the Holiday. One thing that seems to still cause a feeling of anxiety is the Christmas card. Do I send them, do I include my loved ones name, will that make others uncomfortable, what kind do I send? I was very unsure of the proper etiquette. I still wonder what kind of card I should send. Should it be religious, serious, family oriented, funny. There are so many choices. I have sent all of the different styles and types of cards over the years. It is always a strange feeling to sign them. Instead of putting individual names you can try putting "The ____ Family" or "Happy Holidays from The _____". One option is to not send any card at all. The choice is ultimately yours. What choice have you made? It is not an easy one but possible! Peace to all who are missing that special loved one this Holiday season :)

Tree Grief

2006-12-02T23:09:00.000-05:00

With Christmas around the corner the subject of a tree is fresh on our minds. Do we, don't we, little one, big one, new decorations, same decorations, same room, different room, UGH!!!! When a loved one is no longer here it is really hard to decide what to do. When a child is missing it is even tougher. All the trees from the past keep clouding our judgment. Trips to the farm, cutting one down, picking out Charlie Brown, fresh, or fake these are all decisions that need to be made. Maybe you wouldn't mind a tree if the Christmas Elves took care of it all when you weren't looking. I would like that!!!! If your choice is not to have a tree this year for whatever reason, that is okay. Don't let others shame you into it unless of course there are other little children in the house that make you feel bad. We need to keep traditions and normalcy alive for them. Yes, the tree is another one of those things that can get you when you aren't looking. It isn't always easy to try to decide, but it is possible! Peace to all those who are missing a loved one this Christmas season.

Grief Reading

2006-11-06T17:45:00.000-05:00

This month on http://www.beautifulmourning.com I discuss books and how they have affected me since I lost my son, Adam. I used to read for pleasure and when death came knocking, I stopped reading. When I got over the "I can't concentrate" part of grieving, I wanted to read everything I could about what was happening to me. Books have become a comfort to me and a guide through my journey. I just completed Mitch Albom's book "for one more day". It is about a son who gets to spend one more day with his Mom. I liked this book and found it made me think if I had one more day with Adam. What would we do, what would I say, where would we go.If you have a favorite book you've read, I'd love to here about it. Reading and enjoying what you used to is not always easy, but possible! Peace to all who are missing that someone special:)

Remembering Adam

2006-10-02T16:15:00.000-04:00

Finally, here is the video that my nephew Rich took on July 15th, the 5th anniversary of Adam's passing. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a video is worth much more! Thanks, Rich.

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